|
Who lives in California? Tons of soft, soft people. Here in New England with our bitter winters we are tough! Tough like Vikings! Californians tend to brag a lot, and whine a lot too. We Yankees are stoics. We're better; we just don't squawk about it like spoiled Garden of Eden children. Read this manifesto and be proud!
Sure it gets cold in New England. And it doesn't get too hot! We can put on coats in the winter. What can they do in Florida when it's 103 degrees? Nothing, and global warming's making it worse. We don't have earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, or tornados. We don't have smog, snakes, or dangerous pests. Want to live in Margaritaville? Watch out for Mosquitoville!
California is "facing the most significant water crisis in its history", along with raging forest fires, and 36 other US states face drought too. None are in New England. Here we have fall foliage, oceans, and mountains. Plenty of US places are flat and featureless.
And according to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, Boston has the lowest pollen count of any major US city (tied with San Diego), and we lead in pollution cleanup: the Charles River is the country's only swimmable urban waterway.
California only leads the booms because of hype, and that's why they lead the busts. According to The Economist, California has "America's worst budget crisis", is the foreclosure capitol of the USA, and is considering raising the state sales tax to 10.25%. The Massachusetts unemployment rate (5.9%) beats out California, New York, and Florida. And New Hampshire's beats everyone except places you'd never actually live, like Wyoming and Utah.
The world's capital for percent of population with advanced degrees? Cambridge, MA. And according to US News and World Report, New England owns 3 of the top 4 universities and 5 of the top 6 colleges. After the Library of Congress, the three biggest libraries in the US? All in New England. With some 60 colleges and universities, the Boston area has the highest concentration of students of any metropolitan area in the country. That's why it's called the Athens of America.
Boston is not tiny. We are actually the 5th largest metro region in the US. Silicon Valley? Only 6th.
You know who has better arts than New York in the world? Nobody. So get over it, people. Being next to big brother is closing our eyes to the fact that Boston has way more museums, theatre, and festivals than Washington DC, Houston, Silicon Valley, or basically anywhere else that's not an empty tourist mecca like Orlando or Las Vegas. Oh, and good luck visiting a forest from downtown Manhattan, unless you want to spend all weekend driving. Boston also has more arts employees per capita (page 11) than Los Angeles or New York! And don't let your friends say that Silicon Valley's got culture because of San Francisco. They're an hour's drive apart.
It's also true that California owns movies. But Massachusetts offers the 2nd biggest filmmaker tax break in the country, and blockbusters are now being made here, like 2006 Best Picture Oscar "The Departed". Beyond movies, what about television, books, magazines, advertising, and newspapers? It's all about New York City. East Coast, baby!
California's bigger. That just means the liberals are surrounded by conservatives, who just voted down gay marriage. If you want to bury your head in the sand and pretend the rest of the world agrees with your kooky liberal views, Boston's a great place to settle down. The most liberal states in the US are Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New York, Vermont, and Maryland. Massachusetts was the first state to abolish slavery, and first to allow same-sex marriage.
New England has tons of history. We founded the country and own Thanksgiving (Plymouth), we started the American Revolution and own Patriots Day (Lexington), we own Halloween because of Salem, and since Massachusetts is the most Irish state, we own St. Patricks Day. Also our friends in New York City own New Years Eve. You know what people in LA do for New Year's? They watch the ball drop in Times Square on TV. Holidays owned by California? April Fools Day. Just kidding. :)
We have a lot more high-tech than New York. In fact we're #2 after California, in the world, and I'm pretty sure they rigged that by having more than 5 times our population. Massachusetts files more patents per year, per capita than anywhere in the US.
The most densely populated states are in New England, so we don't have nearly the urban sprawl and long drives of our Western comrades. And our public transport kicks ass. We have one of the few underground subways in the US. Over 25% of Cambridge residents walk to work, the highest in the country. Boston has the nation's lowest rate of auto deaths and most of the US auto-theft capitals are in the West.
According to the American Public Health Foundation, the healthiest states in the nation are Vermont, Hawaii, New Hampshire, Minnesota, Utah, Massachusetts, and Maine. California is only 24th and New York only 25th. And Massachusetts has the lowest rate of accidental deaths in the US. Massachusetts is way head of Obama, being the first state to legislate universal health care coverage, and first with a plan to computerize all doctor offices by 2012.
If Russia, North Korea, or China starts flinging missiles, who's closer, California or Massachusetts? Do you really think with New York sitting next door they're going to bomb Boston? It's like New York is this big bulls eye drawing all the attention away from us. Thanks, Big Brother! Also, our winds always point East so (unlike in California) any nuclear fallout here would get swept off to sea.
Think they're friendlier in LA? Wrong! The first ever scientific study on helping found New York and Los Angeles (not Boston) to be where people are the least helpful to strangers. And The Journal of Perspectives on Psychological Science (9/08) reports that Bostonians are less neurotic and more agreeable than New Yorkers. However, the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology 30 (1999), found that people in Boston walk faster than anywhere else in the US, including New York. Los Angeles was the slowest. I'm rather proud.
According to Mercer's Quality of Living Survey 2008, Boston and San Francisco are by far the best US cities in which to live. The Economist's 2007 "Global Livability Rankings" rate the best as Cleveland, Pittsburgh, and Boston. Los Angeles is way down the list and gee I don't see New York or San Francisco anywhere! Too bad, suckers! Obviously no one in their right mind would live in Cleveland or Pittsburgh, so that means we win!
Don't take crap from anyone about New England! We rule.
Repost this wherever whiners need a smile. And see my blog on weird Boston events at www.WeirdBostonEvents.org
-Johnny
P.S. We have the highest number of ice cream stores per capita, the custom of Christmas Caroling began in Louisburg Square in Boston, Battleship Cove is the world's largest naval ship exhibit, we have the largest ocean tank in the world at the New England aquarium, and Forbes Magazine ranked Faneuil Hall over Disney World in the 25 Most Visited Tourist Sites!